so that wasnt chicken after all
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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