haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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