dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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