Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
