i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
