Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
