My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
