best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
