Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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