yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
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