I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
