Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
