Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
