I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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