I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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