is your mom at the bar?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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