Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
