My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
