Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
