so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
