if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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