I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
