Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
