She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
