Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
pray to the hookup gods
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
