I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Your penis caused this!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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