so explain again why im purple
no
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
