conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm gonna fight the coyote
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
