Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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