Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
