I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
