Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
