i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
