wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
