I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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