she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I believe in your delicious
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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