Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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