I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
