You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
