o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
