I want to walk on stilts...naked
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
