Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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