Bisexual people are plain selfish.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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