Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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