Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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