did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
