Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
