Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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