So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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