he wants to bone in the snuggie
well you can't waste a boner
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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