I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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